Small stories of past events

While I was playing on Horde I experienced some new content. New to me anyway. While It’s been some time since they happened and I have slept many times since then, it means I cannot rightly remember everything that happened, they do bring back some good memories. So rather than file them away on some unloved corner of my hard drive, I thought I would share them as some sort of ‘postcard’ compilation.

HORDE LOVE RECOUNT LONG TIME:



This is an example of the thing that brought terror to me in every lfr I went into. The Hordies loved their recounts. Durumu ended with someone kicking every person who was in the bottom 15 in dps. Along with shouting “omg, kick the fucking noobs!”  The constant spamming of recount meant that you usually missed what was going on…

BRB POO:



So this was when we decided to go kill the Litch King on 25 man heroic for funzies. We had just made it onto the airship but had to pause what we were doing for fear of an unintended explosion...

MOBS UP TREES:



This was when I was farming Embersilk. I absolutely hate this place on Tol Barad. Mobs are all over the place, drop rate is shit, have to keep an eye on the timer so you don't end up in a battle and it's miles from anywhere. When the two mobs are fighting each other, often one would evade and then return to full health. Which slowed progress quite a lot. I longed to be able to farm in Deepholm again. As I can see mobs on my mini map I would often see the Horde patrols walking past. I decided to kill them and they went down pretty quickly. As I was running around I could see some more dots on my map, but nowhere to be seen on the ground. Thats right, in Blizzards wisdom, they decided to make them spawn in a tree... helpful...

Shiny mount!

After completing part two of flex I decided to log onto Emava to run a few dungeons to try and get me up to 85.

I ended up in The Vortex Pinnical again. I'd run this dungeon a lot leveling Zionxi so it wasn't anything new or difficult. Our pug group ran through and got to just after the first boss when the healer left. At that point the dps pally asked us to wait. I thought he had been observant and was reminding us that we couldn't really go any further. He then started yelling at the tank to go...

A healer logged in so we carried on. The pally then hit the broadcast recount button and spammed us with the fight details. This really reminds me of my days as horde, I didn't say anything but just carried on. He then did it again two trash mobs later.

[I][Emava] gz on having recount
[I][Pally] MIZ CLICK
[I][Pally] sorry for caps

We then got to Altarius, I didn't pay much attention to the loot that drops from here until this popped up.

Reins Of The Drake Of The North Wind

I didn't really know what I was looking at but I knew it was a mount and it was purple. I also knew that other people may have rolled need on it. I clicked 'need'. Worse possible ending is that I get it and get kicked for being a ninja. The loot box disappeared, I guessed that someone else was must have won it. Then the congratulations loot box popped up! I checked my loot table, I'd won it with a  need roll of 94.

The tank said gz, the Pally advised me that the drop rate for it was 0.7%. I announced in GC that I had it

[G][Emava] well blow me down, I just got [reins of the drake of the north wind]

[G][Marvv] gz <3

[G][Marvv] SHUSH JAMMY

[G][Monknessa] what did you win?

[G][Marvv] a mount I haven't got yet

[G][Marvv] JELLY OVER HERE

Slutmogs

I was on Emava going through my patterns and was linking a few to Farouche who was on his Pally.

I wanted to get a slutmog going for Pazima but the ones I could make were all a bit, well, tame. I remembered that I had a dress that I was given by Monknessa for when I hit 90 that was booby, I linked it over and then had a wonderful thought when he logged back on his main...

[Emava] you should try on my mail
[Farouche] it's going to look stupid but yeah link it all :D
[Emava] relog!

With that, I logged on Zionxi (for absolutely no reason as with the Bagnon add-on I can go through all my characters banks) and started linking the items.

I know from wowhead that males are more 'covered up' than females in the same bits of gear. Arse cheeks hanging out don't look so good on the hulking males of the species. I was expecting Farouche to look like some sort of glittery Butlins employee, what actually happened was 'spectacular'







So here is me from the front. Tits out? Check. Tiny pants? Check.







And me from the back ( particularity fetching when swimming) Arse out? Check check!

When Farouche sent me a snap of his char... dear lordy...







Ignoring the dead skin tone (dK's can't have it all) and the glowing horror movie eyes your left with someone who put their pants on over their trousers and decided it was a-ok to put on some glittery shit over their tunic like they were a body builder going crazy with the bronzer... The rear was just as bad, if not worse.






I'm sure there is actually a hint of bum cleavage going on there and the point of the vest just looks like his char was going for the 'trousers hanging off my arse' look.

I know Blizzard can't separate gear to be male/female, hell it's bad enough seeing something that looks great and seeing that is something you can't wear, so they seem to create gear for females and then 'fill in the blanks'... literally.

Just maybe they need to hey someone to have a look at both genders wearing it before they go 'that's the one!' and then take a cold shower...

Throne of Thunder: noob edition part 2

We regrouped to carry on with ToT. Currently we had the Council to do on the first part and then onwards into the next part.

We had Mack join us which was a blessing. Being part of RT1 he knew what was going on and what to look out for.

Council had always been my sticking point as I always get stuck in quicksand. Unfortunately we lost Jollyjane early on as he had to take a phone call from work. We had Zolder, as main tank and then Farouche stepped into the breach as off tank. We had everything under control. Mack was a boss on dps and the healers and tanks were holding their own. The bosses were dropping and it wasn't as messy as we thought it would be. Near the end of the fight, when Kazra'Jin and the Priest were both near death I somehow died. I was still able to 'direct' and relaxed into my role as chief kitty spotter. At one point all the direction the tanks needed was to get the bosses apart so the dps could have a good crack at the kitties but not long after that they were dead. We moved on to Tortos.

We got into a bit of a pickle trying to remember what we needed to interrupt by kicking the shells into Tortos. After a lengthy TS conversation that was as vague as it could have been Mack finally linked the ability from the dungeon journal. Doh! None of us had thought to look there! We decided to allocate a kicker and we started the pull. It didn't go well. We wiped on the furious stone breath as all the the shells were kicked before and the kickee didn't have DBM installed. Oh dear. We tried again. Traps were laid and we got further but still wiped. TS was getting more silent. Eventually we regained our focus, turtles were kicked at the right time and Tortos went down like a sack of, well, rocks.

We lost a tank again and Farouche lead the way into the cavern. Unfortunately he wasn't sure where we were heading so we were killing everything. We got back on track, rang the gongs and Maghera rose up with its main heads and back up singer heads. We had to wait. We needed another tank. At this point Alryisa logged on and came along to join us. Taking charge he soon had markers down for us and was going through the tactics, running around showing us where to go and when, just out of reach of the boss. Or so he thought...

As a testament to the fine tank he is, he pulled the boss while leaping around and got us killed just as Roly logged on to ts to see how things were going.

"We asked Alry to tank and he's just killed us!"
"Oh dear" (muffled laughter)

Alry was pretty thorough with the tactics, so much so we were all pretty confused.

"You should listen to him explaining this on heroic" said Mack.
"Yeah, there's a purple head too" Alry explained.

We just decided to go for it. We stacked and spread like pros and after needing to kill the frozen head as we wouldn't be able to heal through it we lastly turned on the green one and gave it everything.

"I think we took less time killing it than I did explaining it" quipped Alryisa.

After an eventful evening, we decided to call it a night.

The snails await!

Throne of Thunder: Noob edition

A lot of aggro had been going on in the guild over raiding so what better way to try and reduce aggro by making another raid!

This one was by no stretch of the imagination a serious attempt. We were here to have fun primarily and kill things secondary.

We were late starting due to some technical difficulties for Chizal. When we did get there eventually we set to it. Everyone was summoned and ready to go.

We went off. Zorakan and Jollyjane pulling the entire top step of trash. They hurt. We wiped. Maybe we were a little too over excited!

On the second attempt only half the raid died. It was a valiant effort as our healers were under geared and one was a shadow spec priest!

We got through the rest of the trash with hardly any oopsys. Zorakan pulled the first hag and then somehow got pinged into the bushes and we were joined by a swarm of snakes. We had completely forgotten about them! Then, after getting through the other three yeah mobs, we got to the bridges... It was like people ping-pong. There were cows and dogs being flung everywhere. The bridges were the cause of more deaths than the two bosses we got through and the trash combined.

Zorakan had made it look pretty easy running around, add it always does when you're stood there watching. We needed to get across to the middle podium without being bounced or blown of the edge and also without pulling the angry Queen stood on it. It took me four attempts to get across... After this moment of madness and for me being bounced off the steps once and then getting all the way across the second time only to pull the Queen. We all congregated on the safe spot before the stairs and were shuffling left and right to avoid the bouncing trash add we regrouped. Eventually the Queen died (and a group cheer went out over ts) and we waited in the steps for the next trash to be pulled. It was at that moment that Roskva was here one minute and gone the next as he was bounced to his death.

"Did you fall off?"
"Yeah, I got hit by the one on the podium, I thought I was out of range but I wasn't..."

While Roskva ran back we dealt with the two phantom hags that were floating around. We accidentally pulled two. However, after feeling smug about the previous bridge we decided to go all pro and take them both out. We started running again and had a far better success rate this time. Nord performed 'leap of faith' on me (which always terrifies me as I think I'm going to land right where the boss/trash can get me) and we stood at the top of the steps, out of harms way.

"Clear the snakes"
"Ok"
"Are there snakes in the other bush?"
(Everyone turns around)
"No"
"Ok, let's go"

The last swirly frost/storm guy was the one who was keeping us from the Breaker. After he went down, we went in to his domain.

"Give me a couple of seconds!" Jolly announced. I started to go through the basics.
"If you have focused lightning on you, don't stand in a puddle"
"Ah I was just about to say that!"
"Please get out of the water before electrified water starts, or you be dead"
"Are we tank swapping on the normal stacks?" Jolly asked
"Yeah"

A few moments of silence ensued...
"Are we all here?"
"Yeah! Sorry I was back when I started talking!"

I got a whisper to put up markers where the pools spawn, unfortunately I wasn't the party leader and it was at that moment that the tanks had gone for it. It being a soft enrage we were not anticipating much trouble. A couple of us died. (Possibly due to not having markers so we just scattered like frightened chickens and then ended up out of healer range) Roskva was at one point the only one neatly positioned in the puddle when it spawned and then got hit by the lightning. Oops... We got him down by the third puddle and had another mini nerd scream.

We repaired and ploughed on.

"The angry Dino is next isn't it?"
"Yep!"

Standing in Horridons domain we had a brief run through of tactics.
-Tank the boss side on so we don't get hit by double swipe.
-Tank switch after every door.
-Get the adds down ASAP.
-Interrupt the Dinomancer.
-Don't stand in shit.

"Who is tanking first?"
"If Jolly goes first then we can switch when he needs to round up the adds"
"When am I tanking? First or second?"
"First"
"Ok! Let's go!"

We charged on. Horridon was coaxed to the first door. The adds came out and were focused on. The Dinomancer was announced and no sooner had he turned into a Dino that he was dead. The orb of control was clicked and that door was done.

"Great job, tank switch and onwards!"

When we got to the venom priests there were two of us with a large stack of the debuff. Nord was asking for dispels, I had eight stacks of it and had to run through puddles to get away from the cone attack of double swipe while still getting to the door. Eventually we were all up and running normally. The last adds were being dealt with when in inevitable happened...

"This is going far too smoothly..."

And with that I died! Instantly! I had no idea what hit me but I was up,running around, pew-pewing one moment and on the floor the next.

"Oh my god! You jinxed it!"

I got a res and carried on. Then Antdruid dropped. We were down to two healers. Not that I didn't have faith in them but being undergeared for what they were doing I didn't want us to come so far for it to unravel now.

"Can someone res Ant?"
"Cooldown"

Bugger. The tank and other druid were busy so it was up to us to get it done. The War God appeared and we flamed him down in a shower of arrows and sword swipes. Horridon was on his last legs... 3-2-1... NERD SCREAM!

Our rag-bag group had done it!